GUILT-FREE GUILTY PLEASURES- PART 1

You, yeah you know you do this, don't even try to deny it. But it's okay, we all do it secretly...and love it.

1. Guys have No Shave November, well, so do we. We also have No Shave December, January, and February; why shave when no one's going to be feeling up on those legs, all bundled up in jeans/sweats/leggings/legwarmers right? Totally. Just don't forget to shave when it's sexy time, that would be an awkward moment...unless he digs rubbing his hands up and down a rug.

2. Wearing fake glasses to make you feel more intelligent.

I have REAL glasses since I'm practically blind but these make me feel studious/intelligent/COOOLER which is all that matters in the end, being cool I mean.

3. There's no shame for the only relationship in your life to be the one between you and your television. These relationships are real/true/FOREVVAAZZZ and they will never leave you unless the characters spontaneously die or find a better gig and ditch your beloved show. All relationships must come to an end eventually.

4. Black panties=want sex. Bianca Stratford said so.

5. If you've tried sleeping nude. Why not? Guys do it ALLLL the time.

6. If you dress cuter on days you know you'll run into a cutie. First impressions mean EVERYTHING, so always look your tippy top best you adorable thing you!

7. Use "I was drunk" as an excuse to do something outrageous. Especially in college, I mean who hasn't tried that once or twice or 10 times?! It's almost inevitable. "Sorry for raping your face last night, I was drunk" and "Sorry for running over your evil devil cat, I had a little too much to drink." It totally works and it's almost always acceptable...unless you rape someone. DO NOT DO SUCH THING.

8. Wearing slutty underwear does NOT make you a slut. Not necessarily. It depends on WHO sees the slutastic lingerie. Boyfriend, lover, yourself; A-OKAY! Someone else's lover, your best friend's boo, your father; NOT OKAY, NEVER OKAY!

9. Not being/dressing like a slut does NOT make you a prude. No. It just means you do not and will not sleep with anything that has 4 limbs and moves. It takes some wining, dining, and sweet talking before you get on your back. DUH. When will boys ever learn?

10. Fantasizing about someone/a situation that you believe will never happen because:

a) You're a pussy and need to grow a pair (GUILTY!)

b) You're dreaming about a celebrity/athlete/someone who is out of your league

c) You're dreaming about someone dead

d) You're dreaming about someone you shouldn't be dreaming about:

1)Brother/Sister (THAT'S DISGUSTING! STOP IT!)

2) Ex-lover (NAUGHTY YOU! REMEMBER, YOU'RE EX-LOVERS FOR A REASON!)

-Exception: If they're really THAT sexy...dream on!

e) YOU'RE PATHETIC AND NEED TO DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT BECAUSE YOU'LL REGRET IT FOREVER AND EVER IF YOU NEVER EVEN TRY. SO GET OFF YOUR FREAKING ASS AND GO FOR IT.